To Thaw a Frozen Heart
by HallowedNight
Summary: A collection of /very fluffy/, somewhat related FrostIron oneshots based on words in alphabetical order... See inside for more details! - Tony/Loki slash - Rated for language (and because I don't know where this is headed - Suggestions for words are awesome
1. Archenemies

**Hi guys~ An explanation of this project and more author's notes will be at the end of this chapter. :) But for now...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or any characters here. **

**Warnings: Slight cursing. Tsktsk Tony. **

* * *

**_A - Archenemies_**

"'Sup, Reindeer Games?"

If Tony was anticipating a reaction from Loki (and he was), he was sorely disappointed. The only indication that the raven-haired man had heard him was a slight twitch of his dark eyebrows.

"Okay, not gonna talk to me, I get it. After all, we did kinda whip your ass-"

"I never said I wasn't going to talk to you, Stark." Loki shifted his head slightly, stretching his neck just enough to see Tony out of the corner of his eye. The genius leaned comfortably against the wall opposite Loki's cell, trying (and failing) to stop his eyes from trailing down the elegant lines of the Trickster God's throat. "Why have you come?" Genuine, if seemingly misplaced, curiosity flickered crossed Loki's features.

"C'mon sweet-cheeks, do I need a really need a reason?" Ignoring the god's exasperated expression, Tony grinned and leaned across the narrow hallway.

"Considering it's you, I would say no," Loki said wryly. He then stood and rolled his shoulders languidly, as if he had been sitting in the same position for quite some time. "However...it does seem rather unlike my...guards to allow me company of those other than your agents."

"Hey, don't group me in with those guys. And that reminds me, what's it like to be SHIELD's pet?" Tony's grin faltered as Loki's previously open, if sardonic, expression darkened and his pale lips thinned ominously. "Wait, I didn't mean-"

"I'm aware of your intentions, Stark." Loki took several steps toward the other man, eyes glinting fiercely, burning sizzling hole through Tony's soul. He knew he should be afraid; hell, it was a miracle Loki hadn't broken out of his cell and murdered all the agents on base at the time; but something about the god made Tony weak at the knees, and any fear he might have felt was overpowered by a fierce longing, a want he couldn't control.

"No, you don't. Don't... I'm not here to mock you or anything-"

"I know."

"-I'm not that much- Wait, what?"

"I said, I know. Your feelings are not as secret as you believe, Anthony Stark. Even when we met in your home-"

"Met? You chucked me out a window."

Loki pointedly ignored the human's interruption. "When we...had our encounter in your tower, I could feel your attraction. You do well in masking it, but you cannot hide your emotions from me."

Tony stood stock still, mere inches away from the perforated glass of Loki's cell, unable to tear his eyes away from the god's face. "Maybe I don't want to hide it." The man's voice was quiet. "Maybe I want you to know."

In truth, there was so much more he wanted than that. Tony's mind was an unfathomable maze of uncertainty and self-doubt, but if there was anyone who could sort through, or simply understand his twisted mind, it was Loki. He needed, more than anything, a kindred spirit, someone to turn his thoughts inside out. He wanted to bare his soul; at worst, it would be ripped away from him, and then, at least, he would be rid of it.

"...We are enemies, Stark." Loki's voice was distant, but not cold.

"I don't care."

"I nearly killed you and your 'team' several times."

"Still don't care." Tony held up his thumb and forefinger in a small circle. "Zero fucks given."

"I'm dangerous."

"No me importa."

Loki quirked an eyebrow and sighed through his nose. "You're so difficult."

"Most people would say I'm easy." Tony shrugged.

"Bedroom humor? I should have expected it, I suppose." Loki's voice regained it's quality of barely contained sarcasm as took the last few steps to the glass of his cell. His emerald eyes lingered on the human's hand pressed against the pane before traversing lazily up to the man's chest. Sensing Tony's ravenous gaze digging into his skin, Loki bit his lip and glanced upwards.

"Okay, I know you're only doing that to tease me, and I don't care. You're coming home with me." Tony crossed his arms and turned away from the glass as if the words alone settled the matter. Loki chuckled.

"I wouldn't be so sure. What about your little superhero pals?"

Tony scoffed and checked his watch. "Eh, fuck 'em. I do what I want. And it's my house." He glanced sideways at the god. "You free for lunch? I know this great pizza place, but it closes at three."

Loki snorted and allowed a small cloud of magic to seep through his skin, directing it's energy to changing his clothes. "I believe I can make it, if your agents don't get in the way."

Tony grinned widely as a particularly dashing God of Mischief appeared at his side, complete with a long, forest green overcoat to combat the chilly winter air. "So you can just leave whenever you want?"

"I have been for months. The mortals can't prevent me from leaving, and have stopped trying."

"So that's why you haven't smashed out and killed everyone?" Loki snorted in response. "Well, that's convenient, my recently-reformed friend."

Loki smirked, accepting Tony's proffered arm. "Who said anything about reformed?"

"Dating my archenemy...? I'm surprisingly okay with that."

* * *

**So this is gonna be a little challenge that I wanna do throughout the summer to keep me writing. A collection of kind of related, short oneshots of FrostIron fluff based on random words in alphabetical order, yay! First one was archenemies, which was given to me by a random word generator. My mind was blown with the perfection. **

**Anyway, I'm gonna try to update this every day, 'cause the stories will be short. If anyone wants to suggest words for the next letter (B in this case), I'd be sooooo thrilled~ Nouns are best. :)**

**This is gonna be total, super adorable fluff. With lots of Loki sarcasm... Rated because I don't know where this might go... So...follow if you want, and review if you liked it! 3**


	2. Bittersweet

**A/N: Next part~ Letter B! I'd love to get requests for words from readers~ C is next!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own this stuff. **

**Warnings: Suggestive themes. **

* * *

**_B - Bittersweet_**

"Hey Loks. You asleep?"

"If I said yes, would you refrain from disturbing me?" The god's voice was a low purr, and radiated contentment despite the cheeky words it formed.

"Nope."

Loki sighed and rolled onto his stomach, resting his cheek on his own forearms. Tony smiled, using his fingertips to brush several silky, raven locks away from Loki's emerald eyes. The god exhaled and frowned ever so slightly, sending a chill down Tony's spine.

"I'm tired, human. You have succeeded in your endeavors, what more do you need?"

"Note to self, Loksters is grumpy after-"

"Shut up, Tony."

"Oh, so now I have a name? Well, I guess you did scream it a couple times when-"

"Anthony..."

"Fine, fine, I'll stop." Tony smiled and began absentmindedly running a finger up and down Loki's spine. The god arched into the touch and closed his eyes.

"I have a question," Tony murmured, removing his finger as incentive for Loki to respond. The god's brow furrowed and his eyes opened a sliver, green irises glittering from underneath the pale lids.

"I'm listening."

"Why me?"

Loki rolled his eyes. "Oh please, Stark. Don't go soft on me." Curiosity remained plastered on the human's face. "You're..._compelling_. I want to decipher what lies behind your eyes; I want to pick apart your soul and analyze what makes you different from all the other imbeciles that inhabit this planet."

Tony blinked, before a wry smile spread over his lips. "I would be terrified if that came from anyone but you, babe."

"Babe? No."

"What would you prefer then? 'My king'?"

"That does have a pleasing ring to it."

Tony chucked. "Uhh, how about no? If your head got any larger it'd probably blow the roof off this building."

Loki didn't speak, but a small smile quirked the corners of his lips. "I believe it's my turn for a question."

"That seems fair, I guess."

Loki's smile morphed into a smirk as he pushed himself onto his elbows and slid over to Tony, his lips hovering an inch over the man's throat. Kisses ghosted along the human's skin, up over his jaw to the corner of his lips. The god could feel Tony's breathing quicken and he allowed his eyes to flutter shut as he closed his lips over the human's; his human's.

Tony kissed back hungrily, twining his fingers through Loki's silken hair. A thick, sluggish warmth began to spread through the man's stomach and he gasped, pulling himself down into the pillow to escape Loki's searching lips.

"Hey now, I'm great for a few times a night, but I don't think-" His words were cut short as the god above him snarled and all but attacked his mouth, shoving his tongue between Tony's teeth before the human could protest again. Throwing caution to the winds (after all, the worst that could happen was still pretty awesome), Tony returned the kiss fiercely, allowing Loki to take command until their lungs were screaming for air.

When they broke apart, Tony laughed breathily and gazed into the gorgeous eyes shimmering above him. "Was that your question?"

"No."

"Well then-"

"You asked me once, what a silver tongue tastes like... Why don't you tell me?" The god expected Tony to laugh, or at least smile, but the man remained serious as he contemplated his answer.

"Bittersweet."

Loki tilted his head in confusion. "Explain."

"It's...you're... I can't describe it."

Loki shot an unconvinced glance in Tony's direction as he flopped back down beside the human. Tony sighed.

"It's...wintergreen and magic."

"And that equals bittersweet?"

"Well...technically we're not supposed to be together, so it's scandalous. And, no offense, but you're kinda loony sometimes, and aren't exactly the most loving all the time." Loki grinned and conceded. "But you're a god; you taste like power and vengeance and electricity."

"Poetic."

"I read it in a book."

"Romantic."

"I thought you wanted to sleep." Tony replaced his hand on Loki's back, rubbing out small circles in the lean muscle. The god hummed rapturously, relaxing into the plush mattress beneath him and allowing himself a moment of quiet happiness.


	3. Cellphone

**A/N: Okay, I'll admit I didn't use a random word generator for this one, but I couldn't resist~ I'm dying for reviews and suggestions here, c'mon guys...pwease?**

**Disclaimer: If I owned this, Tony would be dating all the dudes. And he's not. **

**Warnings: None on this one, actually. Aren't I a good person?**

* * *

**_C - Cellphone_**

Loki's face contorted into an ugly scowl as the cell phone by his elbow screeched violently. The thrice-blasted device had been going off constantly for half an hour, and all Loki's attempts to silence it had been in vain. The god huffed, and finally looked down to the screen. A little white envelope was only visible for a few seconds before the phone went black, but Loki had caught a glimpse of the name.

Of course, Tony would be the one to text him. After all, he had been the one to insist Loki get a cell phone in the first place. That, and the small fact that anyone else he had any contact with sort of hated his guts. Well, wasn't that the story of Loki's life?

Resigned to the fact that Stark wouldn't leave him alone until his cries for attention were answered, The God of Mischief set his pencil carefully inside his small, leather-bound notebook and poked the round button at the bottom of the phone. The screen once again lit up; Loki squinted against the sudden brightness and swiped the screen several times before it unlocked itself. What Loki assumed was the texting application popped up (at least, that's what Tony called them; applications), and displayed several messages all of them from said genius.

**Hey Loks. Hey. - T**

**Are you paying attention? - T**

**Can you even use your phone? Probably not. - T**

**Remind me to show you how to text. - T**

**What are you doing? - T**

Loki rolled his eyes and smirked. So, he hadn't used a cell phone before; not a problem.

XxXxX

Tony almost did a somersault when a disgruntled photo of Loki appeared on his phone. The man was glad Loksters didn't know he had kept the picture; he would probably tie Tony to a bed for a few days, and not in the nice way. Making a mental note to get a better picture of the god, Tony opened the message.

**I was having a relaxing evening until your device interrupted me. - L**

Tony giggled (in a very manly way), and pecked out a reply.

**Snarky, I like that. Whats for dinner babe? - T**

Loki wouldn't like that. He wouldn't like that at all...but that was okay. As long as the Trickster God was miffed, he'd keep talking.

**I'm having italian, thanks to restaurants that deliver and your credit card. I don't know about you. - L**

**And why are you texting me, arent you downstairs? - L**

**Aren't, Loksters. Don't forget your apostrophes. Yes I'm downstairs, is that a problem? - T**

Loki texted surprisingly quickly for someone that had never laid eyes a cell phone till a week ago. He had apparently had enough of his partner's attitude however, as he stopped responding almost as quickly as he started. Tony turned back to the paperwork strewn across his desk; he would deny that he was pouting, but the long-suffering sigh and furrowed brow suggested otherwise.

Nearly half an hour later, Tony was pulled out of a reading and name-signing induced stupor by his phone vibrating once again. The man grinned widely and hurled his favorite pen across the room with savage glee.

"No more signing, I'm done," Tony hissed into the air as he unlocked his phone.

**What is an 'app store'? - L**

Tony nearly keeled over with extremely undignified laughter.

**It's an online store where you buy apps, applications like I was talking about earlier. - T**

**I see... - L**

**And what is 'Itunes? - L**

**iTunes, capitalization is important. Same thing but for music. - T**

**Thank you, Anthony dearest. - L**

**Oh, stop it you~ I'm coming upstairs now, put pants on. - T**

**Wait, on second thought, get naked. - T**

Tony wasn't expecting a reply to that particular message, so he stuffed his phone in his pocket and rocketed to the elevator, skating down the hallway in his socked feet. The ride to the top floors of the Avengers Tower (Tony like the new name) seemed to take hours; Loki was at the top, and Tony swore to the fact that the closer he got to the god, the slower time passed. He had yet to prove his hypothesis, but one of these days, he would clear his schedule enough to rig something up.

The door to his private quarters was slightly ajar when Tony finally reached them. He strode in like he owned the place (which he technically did), and made a beeline for the raven-haired god splayed comfortably on the sofa.

"Hey babe," Tony drawled as he flopped down next to Loki, who didn't look up from his phone.

"Must you call me that?"

"You called me dearest, I'm pretty sure that's the Asgardian equivalent of 'babe'."

"That's entirely untrue, and I was using sarcasm, dearest." The god finally glanced over his phone to pin Tony to his seat with his patented Withering Glare. "Learn to recognize it."

"Hey, I'm the King of Sarcasm. But you can't tell in texts." Loki ignored him. "What are you doing, anyway?"

"Playing a game."

"Oh really?" Tony smirked and slid off the couch, making his way to Loki's elbow to better see what the god was doing. His jaw dropped immediately.

"What the hell is this?"

"Techno Kitten Adventure," Loki said, as if it were the most normal thing in the world for the God of Mischief to be lounging in the penthouse apartment of a tower full of superheroes while playing a game full of cats and rainbows. "Is there a problem?" Loki paused the game and stared pointedly at the human beside him. Tony just shook his head and stood, planting a kiss on the god's temple as he did so.

"Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart."

Loki grunted in response, too absorbed in his kittens to offer a better answer.

* * *

**P.S. - Techno Kitten Adventure is an amazing game and should be played by all. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was busy and lazy. But I liked writing this, so I hope my more 'casual' writing style makes sense. **

**I'm out! *double peace-fingers***


	4. Dessert and Dancing

**A/N: Double words this time, I had to. They fit so well... Still loving reviews and suggestions! Also, I have a Tumblr now (my username is HallowedNight, same as here). So if you want updates on my current stories or ideas I'm having (or if you wanna help me figure out that damn website, I have no idea how it works anymore) find me there!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own The Avengers or any of these characters.**

**Warnings: None. Unless fluff overload counts.**

* * *

**_D - Dessert and Dancing_**_- Suggested by Generation-Loki_

As much as he hated to admit it, Loki couldn't deny that some Midgardian clothing was...okay. And he couldn't control the contented smirk that wormed it's way onto his features as he surveyed himself in the full-length mirror that adorned the back of Tony's bedroom door. Yes, as much as it pained him to admit it...he looked damn good.

At first, Loki had been opposed to a night out with his partner, as the god had always preferred solitude over the company of others. Unfortunately for him however, Tony knew just what to say to make the evening sound somewhat appealing, and convinced (with surprisingly little threatening by both parties) Loki to humor him, just this once.

And thus, Loki found himself admiring his reflection, thinking smugly about the look on Stark's face when the man saw his 'date' (Loki hated that word). In fact, the God of Mischief felt quite-

"Hot damn."

Loki allowed himself a satisfied smile as he turned to face his human. Tony had just gotten out of the shower, if the towel slung loosely around his hips was anything to judge by, and was standing in the doorway with his mouth all but hanging open.

"That's not fair. You're not fair. I mean..._damn_, babe."

"I'm going to take your inane babble as a compliment." Loki draped his favorite silk scarf across his shoulders. "You do know our reservations are for eight o'clock?"

"Yeah, what time is it?"

"Seven fifty-three," replied Loki dryly.

"Well, shit."

Loki sighed and waved his hand lazily, watching in the mirror as his boyfriend became miraculously dry, clothed and groomed in seconds.

"Huh. That's useful." The genius masked a shiver (Loki's magic was freezing), and crossed the room in a few long strides, using the mirror as an excuse to squish up against the taller man. "Aww, we're matching. How insightful."

Loki rolled his eyes. They _were_ both in black suits, and their ties _did_ sport a similar (matching) pattern...but these Midgardian clothes were all so alike anyway. "I assure you, it was mere coincidence."

"Oh puh-lease. You're just a big soft-serve." Tony grinned sheepishly over his shoulder as he looped his arm through Loki's and dragged him towards the door. The god refused to be moved however, and hairs on the back of the human's neck slowly began to rise as Loki engaged his Icy Glare. "Or not...? I like my ice-cream hard anyway, no harm done."

Loki pointedly ignored this comment and snatched his arm back just in time to cross them over his chest before Tony turned around.

"I know that look." Tony sighed dramatically. "What have I done wrong now?"

Loki's brow furrowed and he actively avoided Tony's eyes. "Are you pouting?" The god scoffed, but slumped his shoulders ever so slightly, completing the perfect image of a displeased (and rather intimidating) teenager. "You are pouting! C'mon, what did I do?"

"It's more what you haven't done, human," Loki growled. Tony melted a little on the inside and gently pulled their lips together in a chaste kiss.

"You're killing me, stop being adorable." Tony slung his arm around Loki's waist and began walking towards the door once again, this time with the smirking god in tow.

XxXxX

Dinner was a pleasant affair, Loki thought. It was an Italian eatery (because Tony was well aware of the god's picky eating habits) with excellent wine and a live string quartet (Loki's entertainment of choice). The atmosphere was flawless, and Loki couldn't help but commend Tony on his excellent restaurant choice. The soup, salad and entrée courses passed in a blur of small talk and fleeting smiles; Loki was impatient. Dessert was his favorite part of dinner, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't excited about what Tony had planned for later that night.

Said human stretched and smiled across the table at Loki as their last round of plates was taken away. "I'm full, babycakes. Maybe we should just skip des-"

"Do not even jest, Stark." The god's eyes glittered dangerously, and Tony chuckled.

"You know I'm kidding, I wouldn't do that to you. Just hold on a sec, I'll be right back." He shot a winning grin in Loki's direction and stood, noting the barely contained curiosity on the god's face as he made his way to the bar. The man could feel his date's eyes boring into him as he waved a waitress over and whispered some instructions into her ear.

"Explain," murmured Loki as Tony flopped back down in his seat.

"Nope. You'll see." Another small smile pulled at the corners of Tony's lips; he couldn't help but smile at his partner's obvious irritation. Though others might find the expression intimidating, Tony had no qualms about calling the taller man 'cute'. It was true, dammit, no matter how insane people thought he was.

"Here we are, sirs; dessert!" A waitress bearing a large plate approached the table, and Tony beamed at her. She returned the smile and deposited her burden along with the check; if she had any misgivings about two men having a somewhat romantic dinner she kept them to herself. This pleased Loki, and Tony could tell; he refrained from telling the god that this restaurant was frequented by same-sex couples, as Loki enjoyed spending time with his partner without worrying the fact that he was with a man. (That, and Tony was well aware that anyone who voiced their opinions would be splattered across the floor in a matter of seconds.)

Tony snapped back to the present as a tiny moan drifted from the other side of the table.

"Tony…" Loki was eyeing the dish in the center of the table, which sported a hefty slice of warm, double chocolate cake surrounded by several scoops of vanilla bean ice-cream and topped with a healthy drizzle of hot fudge. A small sigh slipped passed the Trickster God's lips as his gaze traveled slowly up to meet Tony's.

"It's all yours, babe. I really am full."

Loki certainly didn't need to be told twice; he pulled the plate to him and grabbed a spoon, guided by his huge sweet tooth.

XxXxX

It only took a few minutes for Loki to polish off dessert. Nothing could tear the god away from his sweets, so Tony didn't rush him, but the human couldn't hold back the grin that tugged at his mouth once Loki looked up from the plate.

"You finished?"

"Mhm." Loki nodded contentedly, his eyelids drooping slightly.

"Great!" Tony jumped up from his seat, chucking his credit card on the table as he pulled Loki to his feet.

"What're you-"

"Dancing, Loksters."

A wry smile curled the god's lips. "You know how to ensure my cooperation."

"Naw, Loks. I just know what you enjoy."

Loki sniggered and followed his partner to the dance floor, instantly taking the lead as the quartet struck up a slow tune. Tony all but melted into the taller man's chest, intertwining their fingers and nuzzling into the god's shoulder lovingly. Loki allowed himself a small smile as he followed the music, planting a kiss on the top of Tony's head every few minutes.

"You're being unusually affectionate." Tony's voice was muffled by Loki's shoulder.

"I can stop anytime, dearest."

The human shook his head vigorously before leaning upwards to press a kiss to Loki's jaw. "Nope, huh-uh. You better not."

The god chuckled. "Then don't complain. It must be the cake…"

"Note to self: the Loksters gets touchy when you give him chocolate…"

"Shut up, human. Enjoy your evening."


	5. Ever-changing

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long... I'm getting into the busy part of my summer. I'll try to update more often, but they'll probably be shorter. e3e As always, review if you like it! **

**Disclaimer: Me no own this stuff. None is mine. **

**Warnings: Some language and suggestive-ness. **

* * *

**_E - Ever-changing_**

Tony sighed deeply as he ran a thick, black-furred tail through his fingers. It's owner was fast asleep, and looking quite exotic in his new favorite skin: black leopard. Well, Tony was definitely never bored around the sorcerer. It was as though Loki had to prove to himself and everyone around him that he could use magic, namely by changing his appearance near-constantly. Tony vividly remembered coming home one day to find an enormous white tiger lounging on his couch watching 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'. Another time, he had been yanked into his own pool by a green-tailed merman. He remembered a specific conversation over dinner, when he had confronted the god.

_"Loki, there's a feather in my soup."_

_"I'm sorry? I fail to see how that is my fault. Feathers are finicky things."_

_"You fail-" Tony rolled his eyes and hitched a scowl onto his face. "Well maybe if you wouldn't grow gigantic wings at the dinner table..."_

_Loki scoffed. "I would hardly call these 'gigantic', Anthony. And you're the one who insisted on using the small table today."_

_"Because I thought it would be romantic!" Seeing he was fighting a loosing battle, the human just picked the feather out of his potato and leek soup and flicked it across the table. "You're impossible... I guess this is what I get for trying."_

_"I suppose it is," Loki replied with a smirk._

_"Do those things work?"_

_"You mean, can I fly with them? Of course." Noting the glimmer in Tony's eyes, he added: "And no, I will not give you a ride."_

Regardless of the...unusual quality of some of Loki's forms, they were still Loki, and Loki made 'animal' look damn good. The current moment was a great example; the god's whole body was covered in short, silky, black fur, which shone beautifully and rippled with his muscles whenever he moved. His face was decidedly more cat-like than usual, complete with small ears that poked through his raven hair on either side, and his eyes were piercing yellow with slitted pupils.

Needless to say, Tony had been a little more that surprised when a tail had cockblocked him several hours previously.

_"Loki! What the fuck?! I'm not playing this game right now, change back."_

_"Do you not find this form appealing, human?" Loki's voice was a low purr. He grinned, revealing pointed teeth, and slid out from underneath Tony._

_"I- What? I have no idea, but-"_

_"I'm perfectly capable of satisfying you in this, or any, form, and I shall do so if I wish."_

_Tony frowned. "But it was my turn...you promised."_

_"God of Lies, Tony..."_

Yeah, Tony Stark's life was kind of weird at the moment. But he was happy and (surprisingly) healthy, and there was never a dull day with Loki around; his life was constantly changing, and the man wouldn't want it any other way...even if he did have to surrender his turn to be on top every now and then.


	6. Fiesta

**A/N: Moving right along~ (Though this chapter is reallyreally short and a little dialogue heavy, sorry...) I've been getting all these words from a random word generator, but I'd still love suggestions. o3o All kinds of suggestions. And thanks so much to the people who have followed and favorited so far. 3 You make me happy.**

**Disclaimer: Same as always, I don't own these gorgeous men.**

**Warnings: None!**

* * *

**_F - Fiesta_**

"_Querido, creo que su tostada está quemando_."

Tony blinked owlishly over at his partner. "Um... I'm pretty sure that wasn't English."

Loki raised an eyebrow and sighed lightly, but didn't bother to elaborate. "You know French, yes?"

"Yeah, that wasn't French."

The god rolled his eyes exasperatedly. "No, it was Spanish. Your knowledge of one romance language should help you decipher the other one." A quiet shuffling followed as Loki turned the page of his newspaper.

"Loks... Don't do this so early in the morning... And who the hell reads newspapers anymore?"

"Apparently I do," responded Loki dangerously. "And it is not early at all. Now, if you're really that incompetent in the morning, I told you that your toast is burning."

Tony cursed and jumped up from his seat at the kitchen table, but was, regretfully, too late to save his toast. He returned to the table several moments later, grumbling to himself and looking decidedly put out.

"Oh, what's the matter, _querido?_ Is your breakfast ruined?" Loki smirked wickedly, enjoying the fact that Tony was still too tired to think up any decent comebacks.

"Since when do you know Spanish?" inquired Tony sulkily, "And why are you using it all of a sudden?"

"_Me enteré porque me quería, y yo estoy usando porque es atractivo y que me conviene_."

Halfway through Loki's sentence, Tony had whipped out his phone and instructed Jarvis to translate. "Okay...so you learned it because you wanted to, and you're using it because it's attractive and it suits you." It was Tony's turn to roll his eyes. "You're ridiculous, but that does sound like something you would do. But could you please...not? 'Cause I like to know what you're saying."

"Jarvis can translate."

Tony flopped back in his chair. "Look, if you wanna speak Spanish, I can fly you to Spain this afternoon."

"_Puis-je parler français, alors_?"

"No, you can't speak French either. There's nothing wrong with English."

"It's boring and ugly."

"I take offense to that," Tony protested. "A language can't be boring."

Loki scoffed and propped his elbows on the table. Tony knew that look; it was the 'you're-wrong-and-I-can-prove-it' look.

"'_Fiesta_' is much more fun to say than 'party', and it rolls off the tongue much smoother."

Sensing an opening that was ripe for some classic Tony-Stark-Snark, the man grinning slyly. "Stop speaking in random languages and I'll show you a _fiesta_ later, _sì_?"

Loki just smirked and returned to his Sunday paper. "Whatever you say, _querido_."

* * *

**P.S. I know very little Spanish, so most of that is Google Translate. I'm sorry if it's really wrong, but it's not my fault, so...a million reviews critiquing the Spanish are not necessary (though I doubt there will be that many reviews). And ****_querido _****means dear or dearest**_._


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